A personal letter from a grieving mother — 32 years later

Today would have been my daughter Kaitlyn’s 32nd birthday.
She died when she was just 2 months old.

I usually share faith encouragement and bold reflections here. But this post is different. It’s personal. It’s raw. It’s written from the deepest part of my story, the one most people don’t see.

And this year, the grief hit harder.
Because over 100 lives were lost in the Texas floods this month.
And among them were 27 girls. Some were young. Some were teen camp counselors. All were somebody’s child.

My heart broke for those parents.
Because I know what it feels like to wake up thinking it’s going to be a good day…
And then it isn’t.

I found Kaitlyn in her bassinet on a Sunday morning, September 19, 1993.
That morning split my life in two. There was before. And there has been everything after.

It’s been 32 years.
And I still cry.
I still miss her.
I still wonder who she would have been.

This letter is for anyone feeling that same ache.

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For the Ones Who Are Missing a Child Today

I don’t have fancy words.
Just a broken heart that still beats.

Some parents dug through mud. Some waited for news that shattered them.
And some of us still live with a silent kind of loss that the world doesn’t even see.

There are no words that make this better. I wish there were.

But somehow, you get stronger.
You learn to carry it.
Some days it crushes you.
Some days you stand up anyway.

And when the world forgets their name, or moves on from your grief, just know this, there are others out here who still remember. Who still miss. Who still ache.
You’re not as alone as it feels right now.

Your child mattered.
So does your sorrow.
And even though I don’t know your name, I’m crying with you.

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If this letter finds you in your grief, please know you’re seen.
If you’re a fellow parent who’s lost a child , no matter how long ago, I’m standing with you today.

Her name was Kaitlyn.
She mattered.
And so does your child.
So do you.

– Trish 💛